Root Causes of Perfectionism
Root Causes of Perfectionism
Have you ever wondered why the pursuit of excellence sometimes evolves into anxiety, burnout and the relentless pursuit of perfection? Picture this - you’ve just completed a project you poured your all into and worked countless hours to complete it. But in the back of your mind, there is this lingering feeling that you should've done more or done better. If you can resonate with this, then you understand the struggles of perfectionism.
Perfectionism is a trait or set of tendencies characterized by the unwavering pursuit of unrealistically high standards, an intense fear of making mistakes and continuous pressure to achieve flawless results. If you experience perfectionism, you may believe that anything less than perfection is unacceptable. Because perfection does not exist and these high standards will always leave you feeling like you’ve fallen short, perfectionism can lead to anxiety, burn out and low self esteem or self worth. If you’re a high achieving, ambitious black woman or woman of color you might find that the roots of perfectionism run deep, intertwined with experiences that shape your very identity. Let’s talk more about the root causes of perfectionism.
White supremacy Culture:
Tema Okun defines perfectionism in the context of white supremacy culture as “...the conditioned belief and attitude that we can be perfect based on a standard or set of rules that we did not create and that we are led to believe will prove our value... White supremacy culture uses perfectionism to preserve power and the status quo. As long as we are striving to be perfect according to someone else's rules, we have less energy and attention to question those rules and to remember what is truly important.” As BIWOC (Black, Indigenous, Women of color), we often measure ourselves to standards that we have not created for ourselves nor were the standards created for us to fit into. When considering where perfectionism comes from, we have to put it in the larger context of our society and how oppressive systems influence us.
Cultural Expectations:
Black women are expected to work ten times harder in order to get any recognition. Due to racism, sexism and misogynior, Black women experience an immense pressure to excel. Excelling academically, professionally and personal has become a reflection not only on your capabilities but also of your identity and worth. The fear of falling short of these expectations can breed perfectionism because the stakes are significantly higher for BIWOCs.
Family of Origin & Childhood:
Growing up you may have internalized the spoken and unspoken brief that success isn’t just an achievement - it’s an expectation. Messages that you received during your formative years can have a profound impact to shape who you are and where you base your worth. If you grew up in an environment where achievement was highly valued and mistakes were met with criticism, the fear of not meeting those standards may now manifest as perfectionism. Perhaps, perfectionism was the way you survived or got your needs met.
Perfectionism is more than just a personal pursuit of excellence; it’s a response to complex interplay because cultural, familial and systemic factors. Acknowledging the root causes is the first step towards reclaiming your mental and emotional wellbeing and break free from perfectionism. If you’ve recognized yourself in these experiences, know that you are not alone in this journey. I invite you to book a consultation with me today so we can explore how therapy can be a support to you.
