3 Tips for Self Love
Hello and welcome back to Soulful Insights! Happy Valentine's day! Although Valentine's Day started out as a Christian holiday dedicated to a martyr named Valentine, it has developed into a huge cultural and economic celebration of romance and love. And honestly, I don’t care about any of that… I just love love! When we think about love, romantic love is always what comes to mind first. We often forget about the most important kind of love, which is self love. Merriam-Webster dictionary defines self love as, “an appreciation of one's own worth or virtue.” Sonya Renee Taylor, the author of The Body Is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love, encourages us to cultivate radical self love because “radical self-love is deeper, wider, and more expansive than anything we would call self confidence or self-esteem. It is juicier than self-acceptance. Including the word radical offers us a self-love that is the root or origin of our relationship to ourselves.” There is something so powerful about cultivating a strong and radical appreciation for our own worth. You are enough. Period. And what’s not to love about that! So in the spirit of this love day, I’d like to share a few tips on how to cultivate self love today:
Write yourself a love letter: How often do you get a chance to reflect on the parts of yourself that you love? I recommend getting a pen and paper, creating a comforting environment and sitting with yourself for a moment. Ask yourself “what are my strengths?” “What is my favorite part of being me?” “What parts of myself do I find fulfilling, beautiful, grounded?” “What makes me feel proud of myself?” “What makes me a good person, friend, loved one to others?” Reflect on anything that allows you to celebrate, honor and love yourself.
Move your body in a way that feels good: When was the last time you moved your body, just for the sake of feeling good in it? We often focus on moving our bodies for some purpose related to how it looks. In order to really connect with ourselves, we need to move our bodies in celebration and gratitude. Put on your favorite song and dance it out, take a walk and feel the sun on your skin, practice a yoga flow to feel grounded in the present moment. Move your body in a way that feels good and pay close attention to the sensations coming up for you. Do more of the movements that feel pleasurable, joyful, sexy, fun, and… you guessed it-good to you!
Prioritize the things that bring you pleasure: Pleasure is “a feeling of happy satisfaction and enjoyment.” Connecting to the things that bring you pleasure can be incredibly empowering. Prioritizing pleasure allows for us to attune to our deepest desires and honor ourselves more fully. I recommend starting with a list of your favorite things, like your favorite music, foods, scents, textures, colors, people. Then brainstorm ways that you can actually connect with those things! Light your favorite candle and throw on some jams; call your besties and have a laugh; wrap yourself up in a warm fuzzy blanket and have your favorite tea. More moments of pleasure will lead to more satisfaction and love. And for more guidance on a pleasure focused life/routine check out Audre Lorde’s Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power, N. Oumou Sylla’s work here and Adrienne Maree Brown’s book Pleasure Activism.
Try out these suggestions and see what emotions come up for you. What is it like to truly love yourself? What are some ways that you are celebrating this day of love? How can you show yourself radical love today?
